Relationships are amazing opportunities to meet Spirit face-to-face and to refine ourselves even more.
Our beloveds hold up mirrors for us, sometimes reflecting back beauty and other times showing us our deepest fears, wounds and insecurities.
Whatever the mirror may be reflecting back, relationships are invitations to commune with our Selves on higher levels.
In relationships, like within the ceremonies of marriage for example, something is both dying within us and also rebirthing.
Because relationships present such delicate opportunities for growth, we can approach them on levels far surpassing the body and mind, touching each other in the energetic and committing to one another in an even deeper way.
By committing to each other in the energetic, we are laying strong foundations providing us with reliable containers to hold ourselves and our partners as we live and love together with one another.
In this way we look to the seven chakras on the body to make this energetic commitment. Chakras are vortices of energy, or energy centers, spinning in a clockwise direction.
We find them about two to three inches above the physical body, with our first one being at our Root, and the seventh being at our Crown.
The first five chakras, from root to throat, are the Earth Chakras nourished primarily by Mother Earth. The sixth, seventh, eighth and ninth chakras are known as the Sky Chakras.
With our partners, we examine each of the chakras together and make the energetic commitment to each other at of our seven energy centers, aligning each of them for an even deeper commitment.
At the first chakra: How are you going to build your home, your foundation, together? Where?
How will you support with one another in meeting your most basic needs? Can you help each other with your most fundamental survival needs? Can you reveal your true Self to this person? Do you feel safe? And can you deeply trust one another?
This is where you will learn whether you have a strong enough foundation together to keep building.
At the second chakra: How will you hold them in a sacred container supporting them as they learn themselves and grow over the years?
Are you willing to accept the other person in all of her/ his fullness — the good the bad and the ugly? Do you embrace the Other in his/ her entirety of being?
Will you invite the Other to express both his/ her gifts, talents, as well as their faults and imperfections? What about your physical connection? Do you have amazing sex together?
At the third chakra, the core: Do you respect and honour each other’s respective power and unique expression of Self in the world?
Without competing with each other or feeling threatened by the Other? How will you contribute to supporting one another in this way? How will you compliment the Other and his/her role and essence?
At the fourth chakra, the heart center: Do you vow to unconditionally love the Other? Do you truly care about the other person with warmth, beauty, compassion and grace?
Is your love actually unconditional or are there conditions? Not unconditional love meaning the Other can do no wrong.
Unconditioned love rooted in honoring and respecting the Other.
At the fifth chakra: How can you support one another in expressing each other’s voice? How can you respect the other as he/ she stands impeccably in their truth?
Do you respect the other’s opinions, beliefs, perspectives, ideas – even if they differ from yours? Do you vow to be a good listener? Can you make a commitment to hear the Other deeply?
Are you willing to be a sacred witness for your partner through thick and thin? Can you hold space for them and invite them to have the courage to say what needs to be said, when it needs to be said?
At the sixth chakra, the third eye: Do your visions for your life’s Journeys align? Do you both hold the same ideas about the future with one another?
Do your pictures of what you want and your lives look similar to one another? How will you support the other in dreaming this vision in to being? How will you help one another breath life in to their Journey in the world?
At the seventh chakra, the crown: Do you share similar spiritual beliefs? How can you have a joint spiritual practice? Are you willing to support one another in each other’s respective spiritual Journeys – even if they differ?
Many times, couples will have a strong physical connection and great sex with each other, along with deeply loving each other, uniting the second and fourth chakras.
Yet they overlook the connection on other levels such as whether they share the same fundamental values, whether they align spiritually with one another, or whether they will respect and honour the other’s personal power and expression in the world.
Or say – they think they’ve married their fourth chakras in unconditional love – when really they place condition after condition on one another and their love for each other.
You must go through these seven levels of deep commitment to one another – required for fulfilling each other’s various needs.
Because if you have a few harmonized and yet not the others, it’s going to leave things unfulfilled – and not work in the long run.
Putting the work in at each of these levels invites a deeper, more lasting and fulfilling relationship with one another.
If you’re already in partnership with some one, and one or more of the above seem off, you can also use this map to tune in to where the relationship needs some help.
In this way the partnership can still go on, we now just know the chakras wanting for balance and harmony.
Many of us search and search for the perfect partners, looking outside ourselves for the Other to complete us and make us whole.
When one relationship ends, we move to the next, hoping the next partner will in fact be that perfect match. If we’re lucky this lasts a few months at the max, before the honeymoon period ends.
Instead, we can stop the search outside of ourselves and turn our focus inward to look for answers within. With this realization, we stop the chase for the perfect partner and instead become the right partners ourselves.
This series of initiations and energetic commitments involving each chakra transforms us in to better versions of ourselves, allowing us to become the right partners ourselves and embrace our relationships with even deeper love and meaning.
By Olivia Apuchin, Guest writer