by Eveline, I heart intelligence
Ever since the act of communication exists people are trying to become better and better at it.
In the past we used to understand each other with body language, further in time languages developed, and now we got to the point where technology-based communication took over.
But thousands of centuries have passed and people still haven’t found the way to get along with each other.
One of the reasons for this is that our behaviors pretty often tend to be confusing which can result is nerve-racking arguments or losing friends. People are different and there is no way for everyone to get along with everyone else.
So here is a list of 9 behaviors that can push people away from you.
9. Trying to dominate over people
It’s good to be a leader. The ability to keep things under control is a quality that not many people possess. But it is really important to know what you have the right to control.
Constantly forcing your will upon your friends can be overwhelming for them. This kind of behavior isn’t something that people can easily put up with, so be careful because it may cost you some of your friendships. No one enjoys being told what to do.
This is why understanding that compromise is what moves us along together is really important for your relationships with people. Stubbornness won’t do the trick.
8. Being judgmental
Judging people can play you a bad joke, if it is a behavior that has become a habit for you. We, people, can act differently depending on our current situation and on the people we are with. This is why judging people isn’t a good idea.
A person will usually show you only as much of themselves as they wish to when communicating with you. Have in mind that before you conclude who somebody is for you. You never know how they are feeling on the inside or what is going on with their lives at that moment.
7. Being negative all the time
As I observe people lately, what I notice is a mass aspiration for positive thinking and positive attitude towards life, despite all the bullshit we deal with in our daily routine.
It’s like people are finally realizing that positivity attracts positivity and the opposite – negativity brings about more negativity.
This is why negatively disposed people who are complaining all the time, whining about this being hard and that being tough are very likely to alienate people from themselves.
Just compare spending a day with someone you have to comfort all the time, listening to their pessimistic points of view and overall disapproval of everything around them, with spending a day with a person who cherishes the small things in life, smiles and looks life on its bright side. Both good and bad energy are contagious, so who would you choose?
6. Lacking delicacy
Saying the wrong thing at the wrong time can sometimes cause a lot of drama but it has happened at least once to most of us. Lacking delicacy is another thing.
It’s when jokes go beyond the borders of the “friendly rudeness” (we all have those friends with whom insulting each other is the way we show our love), it’s when you touch someone on the raw, it’s when you use your friend’s weaknesses against them just to defeat them in an argument.
As Mark Twain says, it’s better to remain silent and be thought a fool than open ones mouth and remove all doubt. Don’t give up on straight- forwardness, just keep in mind that words sometimes come out as bullets, so watch your aiming.
5. Living in the virtual reality
One of the best definitions of our generation is “the generation with heads bowed down”. We walk, we travel, we communicate with our eyes staring into the phone’s screens.
It would be no surprise if after a decade or two anatomists start studying the smartphone as a part of the human hand. Everyone has experienced going out with friends and instead of talking they all browse their virtual life, not realizing they’re missing on the real one.
Some people tend to lead a completely different life on the social networks, presenting themselves as different people than they actually are, happier than they feel, wiser than they would ever be.
It doesn’t matter what the Wi-Fi password is, your friends are right where you need them to be – next to you, not on your Facebook news feed.
4. Being self-centered
Putting yourself first is essential for growing into a successful and content individual. But make no mistake – being self-centered and blind for the presence of others as equal people is another story.
If your only topic when in a conversation tends to be “you” and you get fed up with listening to other people’s stories, problems and opinion, then you’d better change having friends with having a mirror.
Because friendship is not a one-way street but treated as such, it will probably reach the “no outlet” sign anytime soon.
3. Taking everything way too seriously
How many times have you drawn back from somebody just because it seemed to you that there was something unpleasant behind their words, or a joke touched you on a weak spot? Have in mind that very often people do that without meaning it, jokes aren’t supposed to be rude, neither do they aim to hurt your feelings.
Don’t go looking into every single word, being afraid that someone is making fun of you or hiding an agenda. This speaks for weakness and insecurity, and makes you the least fun person to be with. It’s also a projection of your own ways and habitudes.
Taking everything too seriously can also refer to those situations when you get upset for completely insignificant things, such as missing the bus or losing 10 bucks… Repeat after me: This Is No Big Deal! The deeper you dig into the dirt, the dirtier you will end up being.
2. Lacking punctuality
This concerns not only arriving on time. A punctual person is someone who stays behind their words, whose promises don’t fade overnight, who acts according to the prompts.
Not being able to be present at the exact appointed time can make your friends nervous and unwilling to make arrangements with you. This can have a seriously negative impact on your job performance, too.
In a more figurative way, lacking punctuality is connected to the values of an individual, which tend to change with the weather. No one would ever choose to rely on such a person. This is a certain way to alienate people.
1. Becoming a workaholic
There is nothing better than falling in love with your job and being dedicated to it. But the positive aspects of this can easily turn into a negative facet of your life. Not having time for anything other than work can turn into negligence for the closest people around you and yourself.
When you are too dedicated to your job, you risk reaching a point where nothing is as important as work- neither you family, nor your health. Be careful when you choose your priorities because losing people you treasure is not worth any money you earn.
Did any of those behaviors sound familiar to you? If you have found yourself in any of them, don’t be paranoid that you will lose all your friends because you possess some negative qualities. WE ALL DO!
The point here is to stop for a second and think about them. A recognized problem is a half-solved problem. Believe in your goodness but always doubt your flawlessness!