Morbid Affection: The Psychology of Narcopathy
Psychology is the study of the mental aspects of the psyche and is relevant to achieving all aspects...
by Jennifer Deisher
The mind is a very powerful aspect of the whole and the last place we “think” to look for spiritual and/or emotional keys when it comes to actualizing self-love.
Love starts from within and if we don’t learn what love is, and isn’t, we tend to go forward learning very hard lessons along the road in life.
Sometimes we learn love as an upside-down concept that urges us to look outside of ourselves to identify love, esteem and answers that come from withIN.
We must be willing to listen and accept ourselves as we are in order to realize change, especially when we don’t like what we find. This is why they say “judge not lest ye be judged” because it is always a dual reflection.
Pathy is a Greek word which denotes feeling into certain areas of the psyche; physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. [i]
This is also a way of “feeling into” our own dis-order or dis-ease, especially as we clear the mental plane of understanding why we behave the way we do toward self and others.
These feelings can be good or bad. When our being is imbalanced in any area, we can look at a “pathy” as a form of “morbid affection”.
Narcopathy would then mean “morbid affection of self and others”, even if it presents itself as apathy, lethargy or feeling numb to specific feelings or emotion. A person who can hurt someone and not feel any remorse is disconnected from their own psyche in some way.
As everything starts from within and radiates outward, we have to be able to mindfully tell the difference between unconditional love and morbid affection. Morbid affection is the dis-ease that is infecting the root of our proverbial family tree, both individually and collectively.
It is the opposite of love. It is self-loathing, grandiose admiration of oneself and/or apathy; a serious problem because most people who think and feel this way tend to show it in a way that is harmful to the self and/or speaks of loathing others.
It is intolerance, cynicism, condescension and even hate posing as love; we have to learn to tell the difference if we are to self-evolve.
We all have a “god spark” but that doesn’t mean we know how to connect with it and use it for good and healing. This perpetuated concept of love posed as something more insidious and deceitful is worth “thinking” about from a psychological aspect.
Keep in mind, it can also be highly psyche shattering when we find moments of self-realization that include love posing as something very different indeed.
Especially as we see how we’ve carried these imbalanced patterns forward into the world in “looking for love in all the wrong places”.
The Compartmentalization of Eve
Sane and feeling people have a really hard time truly understanding the nature of “evil”, power, greed or lack of empathy; every aspect of “narcopathy” is relevant to our collective ‘ascension’.
It’s also why we have a hard time seeing those qualities in ourselves. We want to see the best in other people just as we hope they will see the best in us.
There is nothing wrong with this concept if we lived in a self-actualized society where we are all aligned with the proper energy of love and not fear.
The problem is not in looking for the good in others, the problem is in understanding that maybe it just isn’t there; even if it means it just doesn’t exist in a relationship, the workplace, as a parent or with an establishment(s) and/or institution.
Specifically, we are talking about inherently dysfunctional patterns of behavior that feed the illusion of another’s self-interests; the illusion we’re trying to free ourselves from in the first place.
Psychological hooks in the psyche that pose as emotional triggers to incite unhealthy emotional reactions from self and others.
A parent who blames a child for their own inadequacies; blaming a partner for your own lack of intimacy; practicing psychological abuse or manipulation (the topic in focus); bullying another or standing by watching another be bullied while saying nothing, effectively enabling the abuser; engaging in reckless, careless and erratic emotional behavior; luring others into oppression or oppressive behavior; engaging in terrorism or war, directly or by proxy; committing ecocide, homicide or genocide.
There are too many areas of “dysfunction” in our collective consciousness, we can only focus on healing our own if we want to truly be the change we wish to see in the world.
The mind is a brilliant tool and weapon, it protects us from ourselves and others when we are compromised. It protects us from our true self if we refuse to see our “flaws”.
It’s the discombobulated feeling we get when we know we have emotional connections to make in order to transcend the mirror of the mental plane.
The source of ALL truth is in realizing we all have certain areas in life where we play the unfortunate antagonist, especially as it relates to the self; the micro affects the macro. No one gets a “free pass” in this way.
This is what we mean when we say “the nature of duality” as it relates to healing self and others. We cannot heal something that bothers us if we can’t even see that we are allowing or actualizing our own abusive behavior toward self and others.
We can be good people but still be a lousy in one (or more) of our compartments because it’s how we tend to “justify” behavior that we don’t want to participate in but do, for whatever reason.
We can be a good employer but a terrible parent. A good family (wo)man who makes destructive and detrimental political decisions on behalf of the collective.
A successful person with unhealthy attachments. Talking but not doing. You can put on a brave face to the world and then practice “self-loathing” at home.
Addiction, obsessive behavior, anger, alienating the people you say you care about, not doing the right thing when you know the right thing to do, lack of humility and atonement, self-deprivation and so much more.
This is what it means when they say “you can’t love anyone until you love yourself”.
In fact, there is a very metaphoric meaning to the biblical story of The Tree of Life, Eve and the snake in the garden.
If someone can’t come into your sacred space without waking the snake, the intuition and emotional triggers that come when your tree shakes knowing you should be on alert, than maybe it’s a telltale sign to stop allowing them to poison the fruit of your proverbial tree?
On the dual side of this epiphany is if everyone rattles the snake, it may be a sign of practicing an unhealthy form of love by thinking you don’t need connections and healthy relationships in life.
The balance is when we realize that Eve didn’t allow the snake into the garden, the snake was the protector of the garden all along.
The idea that there is no more growth and learning to be done is a desperate form of ignorance; ignoring the nuances as a way of holding onto an illusion.
There are many temptations that lead to this practice of psychic deception, the mind attempting to deceive the psyche into believing it is acting sane and rationally.
It requires humility and surrender to admit we don’t have all the answers, especially when the illusion cracks and we reach a choice point of continuing into delusion or deciding to seek clarity and healing.
Sometimes the mind doesn’t want to accept the potential of the heart and soul, change can be extremely painful when we are feeling through the e-motion of sorrow or fear. The ability to connect our true feelings with our true mental state is a milestone indeed.
If this journey of attachment and detachment proves debilitating, it’s usually because we aren’t allowing ourselves to focus on it some way. We are most likely still confined in the consciousness that created the problem in the first place.
When we throw ourselves out there in a million different directions looking for answers, we can’t be surprised when we feel overwhelmed and don’t know which “lead” to follow. This is when we can become desperate and begin to suffer enormously in an energetic capacity.
It is truly self-healing when we allow our intuition to lead us to the answers. We aren’t participating in our own healing when we refuse to listen to, and be mindful of, the ONE true voice that really matters; the voice of our own Truth; no matter how self-loathing it may be.
It’s important to ask our divinity to work through us to achieve the highest outcome for all involved as we embark on this precarious process.
The “crucifixion” is a process of standing before your own Divinity stripped of all titles, roles and labels that are used to compartmentalize the experiences we are having.
The “Tribulation” is when we see our own tragic behavior and the wake of damage it left behind.
This is when the abused becomes the abuser; what have we taken on and been stained with in our individual and collective journey?
We can’t heal if we’re running away from the only things that truly matter; the ground beneath our feet, the self, the family, the focus it takes to focus. We slow down.
We re-think the illusion that just because we seemingly “have it all” doesn’t mean we don’t have to practice all aspects of health to maintain our own well-being; including the mirror of our own psyches.
We stop abandoning ourselves on our spiritual journey because we don’t like what we “see”.
The practice of “Dharma” in Buddhism is the practice of recognizing, balancing and protecting ourselves from fear. A practice of Self-Compassion, Mindfulness and “mirror therapy” may be helpful in actualizing self-love.
It forces the mind to slow down, recognize and receive what the universe is trying to teach it, through the self and the entire psyche; within and without. Are you really listening?